You know what traditionally-male fictional character type I have a burning need to see remade as a woman?
Gandalf types.
Old, grizzled, Odinic wanderers. The one who speaks prophecy to kings, gives swords to heroes, wanders into the depths of the Evil Empire to tweak the Overlord’s nose decades before the Heroic Farmbrat Of Destiny was a twinkle in a milkmaid’s eye. Old and tired and weary, full of cynical-but-compassionate advice and gnomic wisdom and I’m-Too-Old-To-Care-About-Propriety humor. Delver into forbidden mysteries, keeper of ancient knowledge, Bearer-Of-So-Fucking-Many-Names.
Gimme a grizzled old pipe-smoking, sword-swinging granny wandering the Many Kingdoms poking and prodding heroes into action, playing princes and queens like pawns in their centuries-old chess match with Evil.
Give me Helen Mirram’s Gandalf and Megan Gale’s Allanon, dammnit.
Those characters exist but they’re just seen as weird ugly witch ladies
Gandalf-style wozards and witches occupy very different narrative roles.
Among other things, witches are stationary; occupying cottages and caves. Odinc wizards get to travel.
Here’s what gets me about choice feminism (shaving, makeup, other performative femininity):
If you feel anxious, ugly, embarrassed, or generally bad about going out in public and around others when you have failed to do it, how much of a choice is there?
whoever keeps putting the cheshire cat on disney villains merchandise….. damn you. damn you, to hell. i hate you. he is NOT a villain. heis fucking. just a weird little stupid creature. fuck you. FROLLO deserves that spot. FROLLO . this is a warning. re evaluate. or die. this post was made by Catholic gang
lesbians: i am not attracted to any men in any way, shape, or form
y’all: ok but what about… this man
let me make it explicitly clear: trans women are women not men, lesbians can be attracted to trans women, and this post is only open to lesbians who accept and embrace their trans sisters. terfs go to hell.
I lay awake at night dreading the day when a very potter musical is no longer outrageously funny to people because they don’t understand all of the painfully 2009 cultural references that are made
Isn’t this what happened to Shakespeare
Future editions of AVPM will have a footnote explaining who Zac Efron was.
never mind colin firth wading out of a lake, the most iconic darcy moment is the way jamie parker says “my lizzie” as if he’s about to weep tears of joy 😍